McDonald
by Yumi-Tsubato
Summary: America spends too much time eating the fried chicken of a certain popular food chain only to get a certain clown quite jealous. Doesn't he deserve a little lesson? SMUTT, Yaoi - Based off a Doujinshi ONE-SHOT Guys, I don't even know...xD


**So I tried posting this yesterday but the computer just died (I'm at my aunt's house and the way the computer is set up is rather...unique)**

**Anyways, I wrote this yesterday, way late...this is a product based on a weird ass Doujinshi I found pairing America with Colonel Chicken from KFC (I actually just don't remember his name) and Ronald McDonald. So guess what this One-Shot is going to be about? xD**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

America sat in his living room, flipping through the channels of his television, there was nothing interesting on but there was always hope to find something mildly interesting. In front of the lazy American was a table covered in Kentucky Fried Chicken. He didn't know what it was but he had seemed to enter some sort of fried chicken faze and couldn't get enough of it. As he took the last bite of his last chicken related meal from KFC, America thought about how he was basically betraying his favourite food chain, McDonald. He and McDonald had gone way back, so many burgers he had consumed made gloriously fast but still bore a taste that would make the grimmest evil smile in happiness. The name Happy Meal for some of the McDonald combos was so accurate it wasn't even funny.

Well, maybe a little.

"I bet if he were real, this would be considered cheating…" America concluded aloud.

He took the last bite of his chicken related meal and swallowed it. He couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty about how much he enjoyed it but vowed to make up to his favourite food chain once his abnormal craving for KFC was over.

Suddenly, a hand brushed against the back of his neck sending shivers down his spine. If there was one thing America hated that Tony did, it was to brush his hand against his neck because it reminded him of horror movies and how the person would soon die. And Tony knew that he had an unnatural fear of horror movies, even if he had a marathon every month.

"Damn it Tony." America hissed.

America turned around, expecting to see his alien friend giggling behind him but instead saw nothing. _Where did he go…? _He wondered, _Wait…didn't Tony say he was going back home for a little…?_

More shivers ran down his spine as he pictured various scenarios of what could have touched his neck like a freaky poltergeist, or a brain crazed zombie ready for a feast, or, even worse, a sparkling, gay vampire – like those from Twilight – that wanted to ravage him.

The latter suggestion was actually a twisted fantasy of America's.

"Hello?" America called, _Wait! I shouldn't do that! That's what the white people do in horror movies before the crazy murderer guy swoops in and kills them!_ "U-umm…Go away…please." _Yeah, that's much better! If I'm polite he won't want to kill me!_

There was nothing, no creak, no whistling of the wind, nothing besides complete silence. This only freaked America out all the more. He took a deep breath as he tried to convince himself that he was perfectly safe from any harm because he was too awesome to be the first one killed in a movie. He finally turned around to face the television that was now closed for some reason.

"Hun?" He wondered aloud, _I don't remember closing that…_

"You've been a bad boy." Someone purred in his ear causing the hero nation to scream and jump across the table.

America grabbed the first thing his hand touched, which was a large chicken drumstick bone, and pointed it at the intruder to defend himself. The man erected in front of him was rather tall and familiar looking. He had red hair – the shade of red reminded America of ketchup – and his skin was pale but smooth and milky. He had golden eyes and a crooked smile that seemed goofier than anything. Then there was his clothes, it was clown like and not the typical wear of a gay-ish vampire, famished zombie or a freaky poltergeist.

"Oh my god you're that scary guy from SAW!" America yelled in horror as he swung his abnormally big chicken bone around to scare away the potentially great threat. "Go away! I don't want to play you're game! It's never fun!"

The trespasser chuckled, "Foolish America," he whispered, "Have you truly forgotten about me? I could have sworn you were thinking about me just before betraying me with that last bite of your KFC buffet."

America shuddered, "How long have you been watching me…?"

"I've always been watching you…" the red headed interloper replied.

"That's really creepy!" America stated cowering away from the strange ketchup haired man. "You should leave…or I'll call…the…police…yeah…"

Of course, that threat was empty, the one who clearly had the upper hand was the stranger and he knew it. That mischievous grin of his revealed what he knew he had against America.

He swiftly jumped over the sofa and walked towards America who tried to stand but tripped on a greasy chicken bone and fell to his butt again. By then it was too late to try to stand again, the clown-like intruder placed his foot firmly on his chest, pinning him to the ground.

"Bad boys need to be punished," he said with a sick grin, "You need to remember where your loyalty lies, sweet America."

"Wait…" He chocked out as he tried to pry the foot from his chest, "How do you know my name?"

"I already told you, I've always been watching you," he repeated and leaned down, adding more pressure, "From your first burger to now."

The words awoke some sort of epiphany in America and he finally knew who it was looming over him, threatening to punish him.

"No…" he whispered incredulously, "it can't be…Ronald…McDonald…?"

"Ronny will be just fine," he said with a toothy smile.

"But you're not real…" America insisted, "You're just…"

"If countries can be personalised, then why not popular food chains?" Ronny stated as he removed his foot but then sat on America to keep him down.

America groaned at the sudden weight added on his stomach, "It's not the same…"

"Really?" Ronny asked, "Is it really?"

America was about to say something but Ronny decided to cut him off right away, "Nevertheless, the whole point of this visit is to punish you," he smiled and cupped the American's cheek which shocked him but ultimately excited him, "I thought you'd be fat by now, judging by the gallons of my food you absorbed on a daily basis…when I still interested you…"

"You still interest me…" America defended.

"Apparently, not as much as that stupid _Colonel_ _Chicken_." Ronny stated bitterly.

"What are you saying? I'm not interested in cougars!" America barked blushing, "That guy's way too old for me."

Ronny chuckled, "If only you could see him now…" He growled in a tone that sounded annoyed but passionate, "He's young and sexy. He doesn't even look like himself!"

America tried to picture how the mascot of KFC would look like as a young man of around his age but was interrupted by Ronny's booming jealousy.

"Stop imagining him!"

"Don't yell at me! It's your fault!"

"Don't make this my fault! You should control your imagination!"

"You're the one who said he was sexy!"

"Because it's true!"

"Well how can I not imagine that! I mean, he's not even handsome when he's old and wrinkly!"

"True…" Ronny admitted defeat, "But this is about you and me, not the unexpected good looks of _Colonel Chicken_ when he's young!"

Ronny tightened his gloves and smiled sadistically, "Get ready, you're going to be spending a long night…" he purred.

Before he knew it, America's shirt had been ripped off – which kind of saddened him since he really liked the shirt he was wearing. Ronny traced his gloved fingers over America's chest and stopped as his nipples. He leaned closer to America's face as he began to play with them, taking mewls with every movement.

"You're already starting to look whorish." Ronny whispered in his ear, tickling him, before licking the lobe and nibbling on it teasingly.

America moaned at the touch and desperately tried pushing off the sex-crazed clown but was stopped by a firm hand that had managed to capture both of his wrists. America was now at Ronny's complete mercy and there was nothing he could do about it.

As the mascot began to pinch the now erected nipples, he lowered his lips, trailing them down America's neck, and planting soft kisses on sensitive parts. America began to tremble in anticipation as a particularly sensitive area of his neck was attacked by a warm, wet tongue.

"A-ahh…" America moaned as Ronny began sucking on his neck, nibbling gently.

The clown smirked and trailed his gloved hands lower, down America's chest, pass his stomach and to his groin. His hands stopped and caressed the slowly hardening organ which had stimulated said area even more and ripped another moan from America. However, this time it was longer and filled with lust.

"D-don't…" America pleaded.

"That's not what _down there _is saying…" Ronny rubbed the groin taking another moan for himself.

"No…" America insisted, "Don't touch it…if you're not going to do anything to it…"

Ronny stared at the nation blankly before grinning and resumed kissing his blonde partner's neck, leaving marks of ownership just as he continued teasing the groin area.

"No-ooh…" America moaned, "W-why…?"

"The point is to punish you, not pleasure you." Ronny concluded.

America angrily continued to bare with Ronny's pleasurable touches at the wrong area. If he could only have one thing right now, it would be to have all of Ronny's attention at his erected penis, working on relieving him. Finally, America knew what he had to do to get what he wanted.

"Please…" he breathed.

"'Please' what?" Ronny asked intrigued.

"Please…" America repeated as lustfully and as sexily as he could, "Touch me…"

"How do you want me to touch you…?" Ronny asked as he continued to fondle America's chest and nibble on his neck.

"I-I…" America blushed madly, "Do I really…?"

"That depends…" Ronny replied, "Do you want to be touched?"

America pouted and whimpered but gave in, "I…I want you to caress my…dick…" He stuttered flustered, "I want you to jerk me off a-and then to shove it in me…"

"Shove what in you?" Ronny continued teasingly.

"Arg!" America growled in exasperation, "I want you to fuck me! I want you to put your dick up my ass and pound me into the floor!"

"Much better." Ronny complemented.

Ronny flipped America over, on his stomach and pulled down his pants to his knees. Ronny then leaned over the nation, pressing his clothed chest against his back and poked his behind suggestively. He reached around as he started to kiss his neck from behind and pump the nearly fully erected member. America moaned and leaned into Ronny's touch lustfully; the more he was pleasured, the more he wanted more.

Soon enough, America reached his limit and climaxed a little on his chest but mostly in Ronny's hand. The red haired man released the now limp member and pushed one cum coated finger inside America's ass without any warning. He began thrusting the digit in and out steadily and then added a second one. His thrusts went faster as he became more impatient, it was clear that Ronny had now lost complete control over his sexual desires.

He pulled out both fingers from America, who wasn't necessarily stretched properly, and zipped his pants down. He pulled out his large erected member and poked at America's entrance teasingly, but not for too long since he was craving intercourse just as much as the blond bottom.

Swiftly, Ronny pushed his erection inside America who growled in pain and continued to moan his suffering that slowly diminished with every thrust and was replaced by pleasure. The American soon found himself quivering and moaning Ronny's name to encourage him to plunge deeper inside.

"Ronny!" America exclaimed between moans as he felt himself reach his climax again.

Ronny turned America on his back so he could see his face when he came, "It's okay…" he groaned feeling himself approach his limit too.

"I-I…" America moaned, "I'm loving it!"

* * *

England poked America with a back scratcher as Canada and France chuckled. They had been messing with America ever since he had passed out drunk. They had drawn on his face, covered him in whipped cream, put his hand in warm water and done all the other wacky stuff friends do to other friends when sleeping. But now they were done, America still wasn't awake and they didn't have anything else to do.

"Is it just me," England started as he leaned in close to America's face for a better look, "Or is his face overly red for someone who's as drunk as he?"

"He does seem a little red." Canada agreed just before America whimpered, having everyone jolt, "Maybe he's sick…?"

"Or maybe he's having a wet dream…" France chuckled perverted.

"That's just stupid." England growled.

"More…" America moaned in his sleep.

"Ah! He speaks when he sleeps!" France exclaimed.

"I already told you guys that." Canada stated bitterly, "But you guys never listen t—"

"Shh! Listen!"

"More…" America repeated, "More milkshake…"

"Of course he dreams about fattening food." England growled annoyed.

"Fill me with more milkshake…" America moaned before tossing in his sleep and smearing some whipped cream over his coloured face.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"What?"

"Ronny…" America groaned loudly, "I want more…"

"Ronny?" England repeated, "Who's that?"

"Ronald McDonald." Canada answered, "The creepy clown that is also the mascot of McDonald."

England and France made a face.

"Put your meet between my hamburger buns…" America moaned again in his sleep.

"I've heard of weird fetishes," France stated looking at the American as if he were a freak, which was accurate, "But that's just sick."

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**So that was it.**

**If anyone wants a link to the doujinshi comment here or send me a private message.**

**EDIT: So I just noticed that the link doesn't appear when I send it to ppl so I'm going to place instructions to how to get to it the easy way!  
**

**1 Go to deviant art  
2 In the search bar type Yumi-Tsubato  
3 Click on any art presented after the search  
4 Look at the account of the person who submitted the art  
5 If it says Yumi-Tsubato, click on it and it will bring you to my profile page  
6 Scroll down my page until you see something titled 'Srsly wtf T_T'  
7 There's a link somewhere in the text, click it and it will bring you to the Doujinshi**

**HOPE IT HELPS  
**


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